12/12/07

This class has really helped me by letting me get a better understanding on what I want to write about in the furture. Out of all of the things that we did in this class the two things I enjoyed were the personal essays and memoirs. I didn't really connect or enjoy anything else we did. I had a difficult time trying to understand some of the things we had to write about like the journalism essays and the nature essays. I originally took this class because I knew already that I did not enjoy non-fiction literature but wanted to try angain anyway and give it another chance. I am glad that I did find out that I enjoyed writing personal essays and memoirs and also to find out what I don't enjoy by actually trying it. This class also made me realise more that I want to continue to write my fiction writing and poetry because I'm missing it so much and is what I mainly want to write.
I first came to school to become a veternarian. Well one thing led to another and found out that was not what I wanted to do with my life. While I still want to work with animals I also missed my writing, reading, and art very much. After a summer vacation of writing short stories to pass the time I realised that was one thing I wanted to do with my life. Ideas started to race through my head and I am very excited with all of the stories I plan on writing. I also want to record my family history and stories about family members as a way to never be forgotten. Now I am an English/Writing major and struggling to become a writer with the business of every day life.
What I want to write about are fictional stories of a combination of mythological creatures, fantacy, beliefs, and the modern day life. I want to write about myself now and of my family and loved one's because I think that some things should be known and remembered. I also want to write poetry since I do enjoy it and can make almost anything into a poem. I also want to write about dogs because I want to become a dog trainer and breeder as well and think I will do well on writing guides. I want to write about many things and want to write almost all of the time. I just wish I could have that time now since school takes most of it up and don't get a chance to write about what I really want to write.
I want to write a mixture of short stories and series that can last a few hundred pages with each book. I want to write stories that are very imaginative because I think that is something that people lack these days amd think it is a very important quality to have.
I'm taking classes now on learning what I need to do in order to publish my works. This is one reason I wanted to take this class but I'm having a difficult time. I'm also being slowed down a bit from people asking me what I want to do with my life and when I say I want to be a writer and a dog trainer they tell me to start looking for a real job like being a teacher which is one of the last things I would ever want to do. It really drags a person down when they are told that their dreams are not good enough and to do something you don't want to do. However, I'm not going to have a career that I know I will be miserable with for the rest of my life. Somehow I'll make it through and do what I want to do. Just have to hope it all works out in the end.

12/04/07

A Journal of Journals

This wasn't like anything I have ever written before. To me it seemed I was writing a journal about my journals; which I think it actually is. It all seemed to come easy to me once my professor announced that we were going to write our own personal essays. I knew exactly what I wanted to write about and what I wanted to say. The only problem was time was against me.
It was the beginning of the fall semester and I was already drowning in the amount of
homework I had. I kept putting off writting my essay because it wasn't due for a few weeks and I had other homework I had to finish. Throughout that time I kept imagining how I was going to write this essay and how I was going to say the things I wanted to say. I would sometimes daydream in class of what I was going to write about and come up with all of these ideas while doing so. I was trying to just imagine what my paper wa going to be like. I knew writing straight from my journals would be impossible because I had threw them out a few weeks earlier during the summer. However, I knew it wouldn't be a problem because I had read through them before I threw them out and remembered what was written, just not word for word.
Time has always been an enemy of mine. Once I completed one project there were
more to take it's place. The due date for my personal essay was a week and a half away. I started to become desperate and realized the only way I would be able to complete all of my homework was to cut down my sleeping hours. Instead of waking up at around 9:00 each morning I would instead be up at around 6:00 or 6:30 just to be able to get my homework done and start my essay. I was exhausted but it had to be done. There were days that I would just wake up, take my dog for his morning walk, grab some breakfast, sit down on the couch, turn the tv and my laptop on and just start writing all while still being in my pajamas. Those are a few things I must do before I can even start writing. I have to be comfortable or else I will constantly be moving around and unable to write much. I can't be hungry or else all I will be thinking about is food and not write a thing. And I also need to have sound in the background. For some reason the silence bothers and distracts me. If for some reason I am writing while it's quiet I often just daze into space with the blank look on my face not knowing what to write about. I sometimes go to school early to do some homework and it would just be so hard for me to concentrate unless I could find a place where there were people talking in the background. I need sound even though I am not directly listening to what it is. It just needs to be there for me to write. I remember writing my essay at school and I was sitting on one of the chairs in the hallway by the window. It was a hot day with the morning sun starting to beat on my back and it was insanely silent. It was driving me nuts and I was getting frustrated that I could not write and I remember putting on a game so I could calm down. One other problem I have with
writing is that I am not able to write drafts. I would start out writing a draft but I would get so
caught up in my writing it would turn into my final paper. I have tried many times to write drafts but for some reason I can't that easily. After many many failed attempts of trying to start the essay I finally got to it. I was home and did everything I had to do to start writing this essay. The way that I began my essay was to first describe my surrounding, how it felt and what I was thinking. I wanted to give an image and a feel of what I was writing about to just give a better understanding for how it was. I then say that I found my one journal in my pill of junk and basically said that I was curious to find the rest because I had forgotten what was written in them. When I said what was in my journal in the beginning I wanted to give a sense of sadness because that is one of the things I wanted to talk about in my essay and get through to the readers. I also tried to make it clear that I had blocked out these memories from myself as if they had never existed and that there was no pain when there really was.
I hate them but I know I shouldn’t because that’s not what God would want.
I wanted to add this piece because this is one of the things that stood out the most to me
while I was reading the first journal. I wanted the readers to know from the beginning of how I felt about people and also the desire to please others. I wrote that mostly because of my father
because I thought him to be religious and wanted me to be religious also. I thought pleasing others before myself would make me happy; which I later learned wasn't all that true, and thought that would be something he would've wanted me to think.
I did want to put in a sense of happiness in there so that my readers wouldn't just be
depressed while reading. I wanted to talk about my pets because there were what made me happy back then because they were not only cute and cuddly they were always friendly and never judged me. The part of happiness is short and it goes straight back to what made me upset and what I was scared of. I wanted to mention the part of me starting to cry because one of the fears that I had had in my life was showing weakness and that was something I never wanted to show anyone.I then go for the second journal for to reasons in my writing. The first is because I didn't want to remember those memories at the moment and the second is that if I said everything I wanted to say it would have been too long and time was against me. I wanted to mention my first boyfriend mostly because that was a major change in my life since I was for the most part a loner. It was also a big disappointment in my life because that was mostly what the relationship was. Nothing but disappointment and further heartache.
He didn’t show up to the movies again. This has to be the third time this
month I think. I don’t understand why he doesn’t just call to say he can’t
come or ever apologize. He does this all the time.
I wanted to mention this part out of my journal to give an example of what it was like. I
wanted to give the reader an idea of what I had regularly went through while dating this one guy. And I wanted to finish off that part with us breaking up and that I was happier that we were and also for why he had broken up with me because that's not the kind of person I would ever want to be with.
The next part I wanted to go on to a happier note by mentioning my first dog, that I had
been wanting my entire life, and what I had to go through to get him. I also wanted to mention the part of my mother saying, "Oh my God, it's Cujo!" just because I find it so funny and wanted the reader to get a laugh out of it also. I wanted to put in some sense of enjoyment and happiness before I got to the next part.
It was the most tragic event of my life when my dog died. I can remember most of that
day so clearly with how perfect that day started and how it became the worse day of my life in
almost an instant. I wanted to give the reader a sense of what I had went through that day and the few days that followed. I loved my dog more than anything back then and would've gladly chose him over my boyfriends at the time. He was just that important to me.
I moved to the next journal because I didn't want to relive those painful memories and wanted to mention something on a lighter note by after how I had been treated by people that there were still good people around. I wanted to mention the trip to Esopus because I thought it was one of the better examples I could've given about one of my high school friends and what a nice guy he was that night. And I wanted to conclude my essay with how I met my fiance, what he has done for me, and how it's changed me to becoming a happier person.
I wanted this paper to show what a person's life can be like in the beginning with almost
no hope of there ever being any change to everything turning around for the better. I would like my essay to be much longer and more detailed since there are many things I've left out but once again time is my enemy.

12/01/07

What did I learn about writing in this course?

I'm going to be brutally honest in this post. Non-fiction is something I was never interested in or ever wanted to write about. This semester I just figured I'd give it a try with a few other courses I was never really interested in. Well I learned it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be; which I can't say the same for the other courses I took. What interested me the most was learning how to write personal essays and memoirs. I enjoyed writing them and think I will continue with those two writing genres. I did not enjoy the nature essay or the journalism piece at all. When I first tried writing the nature essay I was keep writing it as a poem and I knew that wouldn't work so after many attempts I finally had to change my topic and rush through the essay before the due date. And I was never interested in journaling. I didn't feel like I would make it through reading the essay about the Barbie Convention. It just did not interest me at all and I think I'll just keep it as that because I have nothing positive to say about it. But through it all I am glad that I learned how to write personal essays and memoirs. Even from the beginning I knew I would enjoy those two and I knew the personal essay was what I really wanted to write about for my final piece and it's the same for the reflective essay. I know I want to write about my personal essay for my reflective essay. I just have a feeling about it. But what I learned from this class is that non-fiction is just not my thing. I tried, I didn't hate the class and I don't think I did that bad or anything. I just got the opportunity to learn a little more in where I stand in writing on what I don't like, what I'm good at and more importantly of what I really enjoy and that is mostly my poetry and fiction writing.

11/26/07

I started by knowing exactly what I wanted to write about, sat down where there was no one around, and was playing Age of Mythology since I get distracted too easily if I'm only doing one thing.

My focus seemed to come while I was writing.

What I left out are some things that are too personal for me. I don't remember changing anything.

The only time I got stuck is when I had other things on my mind and got unstuck by either getting a snack, walking my dog, or just doing something else for a while.

I write my best when I'm home during late at night.

Some writing rituals I have is grabbing a blanket, grabbing a snack, and either playing some music or putting the tv on.

I don't even considered myself finsihed because I know my final version would be very long.

Blog 14

School hasn't changed that much for me over the years. It has always been very difficult for me and taken up most of my daily life. I'm a junior in college and it doesn't seem like things have changed but only getting harder as time passes.

It seems like a daily routine now. Five days out of the week I wake up and get ready for school. I would be so tired sometimes from staying up the night before either studying or doing my homework that I'd forget to have breakfast and even take anything for lunch. After six hours of school and work I'm exhausted and hungry but my day isn't over. By the time I get out of school I have enough homework to keep me up the rest of the night.
By the time I get home my dog hasn't been walked for almost eight hours. When I get
back from the walk I notice my sister, who is a junior in high school, has all of her homework pilled on the couches and floor in the livingroom.
"That much?" I'd ask her.
She looks up at me and says a simple, "Yes."
My mother would then come into the room and say, "She's been like this since she got
home. It's ridiculous with the amount of homework they give them."
By then it would have been around six o'clock in the evening and my sister gets home at
two o'clock in the afternoon. She is also an honor student and has five AP and Honor classes out
of the seven classes she takes at her school. I would then leave my sister for her to continue her work and for me to have my dinner.

At the dinner table I would half the time have my homework with me. I wouldn't really be able to pay attention to the people sitting down with me because I'd have to concentrate on the homework that I would be doing. By the time I'm done with my dinner I would leave to go to my boyfriend's house just to be able to spend a little time with him otherwise I wouldn't be able to see him other than the weekends.
When I arrive at his house I'd either pull out my books or my laptop and start doing my
homework. We'd sit down together on the couch and he would either watch tv or play a game.
After a few hours I would start having headaches and falling asleep.
"I think you should take a break for a bit." he would tell me.
"No, I'll be fine. I just got to finish this." I would tell him.
If I start falling asleep again he'd say, "I really think you should take a break. You're
stressing yourself too much."
It's then I'd agree, put my books away and ask him how much work he had.
"I have two papers due this week." he told me.
"I'd love to only have two papers to do." I'd tell him.
By that time I would start getting very worried and upset that I wouldn't be able to finish
my work in time and fall behind.
He would then say, "Don't worry yourself so much. You'll get through it like always."
After that I would start feeling a little better and we would talk and watch a movie
together. I would then soon have to go home and still have work to do. I would feel bad about my boyfriend because I felt I would spend so little time with him but I would just be so busy.

I would finally arrive back at home around eleven o'clock in the evening and would find my sister still doing her homework.
"How much do you have left?" I would ask her.
"Got this art project to finish." she'd say.
"Due tomorrow?" I'd ask her seeing that she had just started it.
"Yes." she'd say.
I would stay downstairs helping her out with what I could while doing my work as well.
By the time we would be finished it would be between midnight and one o'clock in the
morning. She also explained to me how her school dropped the passing grade from 70 to 65 which ended up lowering her GPA on her report card and since they didn't do the same for the Honors List which made her be in the second honor roll when she should've been on the first honor roll. She was very disappointed and frustrated that she'll have to work even harder if she wants to be in the first honor roll.

School's has been very difficult and it's only getting harder. I have almost no time for myself unless I force myself to have that time and the same goes for my sister. With almost anyone I ask have the same problem and it only seems to be getting worse.

11/19/07

RHETORICAL ANALYSIS OF PUBLICATION VENUES


1. Analysis of the editorial description of essays accepted
See http://www.freshyarn.com/submit.htm
Does not mention any boundaries.
Accepts short personal essays of up to 3,000 words max

Reading dates: monthly
.
2. Description of several representative essays published in your venue;
sample essays= http://www.freshyarn.com/submit.htm
“Ninth-Level Dork” by Ali Davis
“Losing Your Mother … Find Yourself” by Beverly Kopf
“You Think You’re So Special” by Dana Gould

Subject matter: "While there are also excellent literary outlets in print and online, I found that personal essays are not the focus. Typically they're buried amongst fiction, poetry, reviews and articles. There was no home, print publication or website, dedicated to this important genre."
Voice: no voice mentioned
Depth of discussion: "to elevate the art of the personal essay"
Length: up to 3,000 words

3. Niche
Audience - literary and writers interested in personal narrative essays
Purpose – “My mission is to elevate the art form of the personal essay, and to promote the voices currently kicking it into higher gear. It is also to continue to build the community of listeners and readers who are the real reason this genre is coming to the fore.”

4. Other
Must send by e-mail only with no attachments
Replies with “GOT IT” via e-mail
Publish six essays each month
No mention of pay.

11/18/07

My journalism essay will be about the difficulties of students today of different ages and the similarities they possess. I will also be using myself as an example for my topic.